I have a confession to make. My wife and I watch The Bachelor. I think I like it more than her, but for totally different reasons. It is the best comedy on television! I think the producers are wise to this. That’s how the crazies stick around for so long! We all know they made Arie keep Krystal around for the ratings. Anyhow, I think Arie should give out colored roses to let the ladies know how he feels. That would really crank the drama up to 11. Here’s why…

(Note: If you watch the show and missed the last episode, there are spoilers.)

Lavender

The “first impression” rose. Lavender represents love at first-sight and enchantment. It is the Becca K. of roses, but will that love last?

Yellow

The friendzone of roses. When it comes to sending a joyful message, yellow roses are your best friend. In fact, yellow roses are a traditional symbol of friendship, so there you go. With their warm, sunny disposition, a bouquet of yellow roses tends to light up the room, making them a perfect way to say thanks, get well, congratulations or just, “Hey, thanks for being you. You get to stick around for one more week …. Maybe.” Poor Annaliese, the last girl to get a kiss ... and traumatized by bumper cars.

Orange

With their blazing, youthful energy, orange roses are the wild child of the rose family. Whatever feelings you might be bubbling over with—enthusiasm, passion, gratitude—orange roses will get the message across with both oomph and elegance. “Dates are always fun with you. I want to get to know you more.” This rose is definitely a Bekah. Don't let it go missing from your list.

Peach

“Believe me.” Peach represents modesty, sweetness, and truthfulness. I don’t think we would be seeing many peach roses on The Bachelor. It’s pretty much the opposite of Krystal.

White

Purity, loyalty, and innocence. Let's be honest, I don't think we would see this rose on a show where "the fantasy suite" is a thing ... and Ashley Iaconetti isn't in this season.

Pink

Bright and beautiful to behold, but pink roses are also fabulously versatile when you have something important to say. A classic symbol of grace and elegance, the pink rose is often given as a token of admiration and appreciation. As far as saying something important, I think Tia's move this week was channeling the worst of Krystal, but it had the desired effect. It drove Bekah into a tailspin only to prove Tia's point that Bekah, 22, is a bit immature.

Red

“The final rose.” Long associated with beauty and perfection, red roses are a time-honored way to say “I love you.” We still have a few more episodes to find out who gets this rose.

Unless you want HUGE SPOILERS!

The Meaning of Rose Colors